I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
