how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
