it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
