Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
