Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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