Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
