So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
