I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
only you would photoshop your dick
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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