So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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