I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
