You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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