did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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