My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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