she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
