it's like her boobs came off with her bra
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize