PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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