Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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