very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
