one might say we're banned from that church
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
