we made out on top of his cat.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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