True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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