It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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