i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
