Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My feet surprised me
Randomize
