he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
