I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
