were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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