Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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