I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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