It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
