the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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