It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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