I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
