just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I DEMAND FORESKIN
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize