i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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