get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize