check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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