taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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