now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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