why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I love having hate sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
