Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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