so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
