sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
