It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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