Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
