I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
