wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
