suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
