What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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