Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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