sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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