apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
