I heard we made out
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
