Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
