I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize