i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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