This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
