he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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