Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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