so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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