I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
